It’s getting ridiculous, I know. I went from proclaiming I would never run a race, to running my fourth half marathon in 6 months. But now I know my brain is broken because of the fact that I’ve run four half marathons and I’m signed up to run 2 more. This year.

The Drop 13 Half Marathon takes you down Big Cottonwood Canyon and through a little ravine to Market Street Oyster Bar & Grill in Cottonwood Heights. It’s a pretty spectacular and gorgeous run to start at 6 AM. After taking a bus up the canyon at 4:30 AM. After getting up at 3:30 AM. It’s excessively early. But again, it’s reaaaaallly gorgeous.

The race is downhill, so I was thinking that it wouldn’t be too hard to get to the finish line in under 2 hours again. I took off down the mountain and the miles flew by, a lot easier than I thought they should, and I wasn’t even feeling the burn. It was great! I even took a potty break in the middle. And afterwards I ran faster. I made it down the canyon, which put me at about mile 10, when I started getting a little … funny.

First of all, a song came on my mix (Girl on Fire) and it suddenly made me think of this scene in the trailer for Blended:

And I started laughing. While running. Laughing uncontrollably. I had to stop and walk for a bit because I was making a scene. I drank some water and had a gummy and pulled myself together.

For about one mile.

Which is about where I saw a sign near a puddle that said, “No boating or swimming.” Ok, maybe it wasn’t a puddle. But it was practically a puddle you guys. It was in the middle of a residential/commercial area. It was smaller than your average backyard pond. If such a thing is actually average.

I lost it. I mean, it, as in, my marbles. I had to stop again to get my sh*t together. And then I somehow made it the last whatever miles I had left, and was surprised to find that despite my shenanigans and potty break I managed to get in under 2 hours…

Yeah, 1:49:27

I was just happy to have my medal and my ice cream. And then a giant breakfast with coffee and bacon. Clearly, that is the breakfast of champions.

Also, The Oatmeal completely understands my pain on running these things.