Dutch Apple Pie with Whipped Vodka Crust

A month ago Annie, my sister who currently lives all the way out in New York, sent apples and a pie recipe to Becca as a really fun gift for someone working very hard being a nurse. Becca called me for tips and tricks to make sure she didn’t screw it up and it was then that I had to admit to her … that I’ve never made a pie before.

DUN DUN DUN! GASP!

In an effort to rectify this, I was sent the recipe, I bought a pie tin, and I even spent time looking up the America’s Test Kitchen recipe for perfect pie crust. And then, while Chad and his friends were watching a sportsball game (it’s advisable to have people to help eat the pie), I baked whilst a little tipsy on Gin & Tonics.

America’s Test Kitchen Vodka Pie Crust (kind of)

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups bleached flour
1/2 tsp Salt
1 TBS Sugar
6 TBS Cold un-salted butter, cut into cubes
1/4 cup cold vegetable shortening *
1/8 cup cold water
1/8 cup cold Vodka **

Directions

Process 3/4 Cup Flour, salt, and sugar until well combined. Add butter and shortening (or more butter) and pulse for 15 seconds or until mixture resembles cottage cheese curds (it never looked like that).

Scrape the bowl and add the remaining flour. Pulse again for 5-10 seconds.

Add water and vodka and mix until dough is slightly tacky and sticks together.

Roll into a ball (put a little flour on the outside) and wrap in saran wrap.

Stick in the fridge for 45 minutes or up to 2 days.

*Note: I just halved the recipe for you on paper, and checked my math. But when I was making the pie crust I was doing all this math IN MY HEAD and I actually did great until I got to the Cold Vegetable Shortening. I don’t have Crisco in my house. WHO the HELL keeps Crisco in their FRIDGE?

If you do, I apologize for the shouting in my previous sentence. I’m sure you enjoy your Martha Stewart Made-from-Scratch Cookies and perfect home.

During the time it took me to look up on the internets what I could use in place of Crisco (butter, same amount) I got so annoyed with the Crisco thing and the not thinking ahead thing that I used the regular amount of Water and Vodka (1/4 C each).

**Note: The only vodka we had was Whipped Cream Vodka (go ahead and judge) which ended up working out fantastically. Even with too much liquid. Happy accidents and everything.

Annie’s Apple Pie

Ingredients

1 stick butter, softened
3/4 cup + 1/4 cup sugar, divided
1 cup flour
1 pie crust
5-6 peeled & cored Granny Smith Apples, cut into bite sized pieces
Cinnamon
Lemon Juice

Directions

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Roll out pie crust and place in pie dish, cut off excess pie crust.

Toss apples in a bowl with Lemon Juice, Cinnamon (amount to your liking), and 1/4 cup of sugar. Pour apples into the pie dish.

Cut butter, flour, and remaining sugar and mix with your hands until crumble-y in texture. Pile on top of apple mixture, press down so the crumble doesn’t fall off *

Bake for 60 minutes.

*Note: You should probably NOT have 2 very strong Gin & Tonics and then read the directions not very carefully and toss the apples with ALL the stuff you were supposed to be using for the crumble top… and then be out of butter and sugar so you couldn’t make the crumble top properly.